Q. It’s hard to see loved ones so troubled, and feeling unable to help their mental and emotional suffering, however much love you give them. This in turn troubles me, and I find it difficult to keep perspective. A. I understand your grief about X’s suffering only too well, and deeply sympathize. The suffering and worry about Y have been a deep shadow over our lives for so many years. I don't have much consolation to offer: my survival strategy has been acceptance of 'just